For those of you Gentle Readers who aren’t NJ Devils fans, this post requires a tiny bit of explanation. The channel that airs Devils games, MSG+, has developed, over the last few years, an informal mascot named “Chuck The Duck”. Chuck has absolutely nothing to do with the games, but the production crew seems to love staging flavoring shots of Chuck on the road, such as boating in Florida, eating poutine in Montreal, or posing as Santa Claus. It’s a little convoluted, but at this point, he’s a beloved part of the tv broadcasts for all Devils fans.
Way back on December 18 the brilliant and talented Gentle Reader Jarhead_SGT blew our minds with this homemade Chuck the Duck. After we recovered from the staggering sense of awe, we wondered, “How did we not think of that?” Really, how could we not have our own Chuck the Duck? Especially when we already knew exactly how to make a felt duck. All we would need is the felt duck, a hockey sweater for it, a hockey helmet, and a cigar. It would be a piece of cake!
We started with a prototype, just to hammer out the logistics. Using craft-store felt, we constructed a shockingly cute little duck, then draped him for his Reebok slim-fit-style sweater. There was no small sense of thrilling accomplishment when we realized it was going to work.
Our prototype was so cute, we hated just to think of it as a mere step in the construction process. But when we talked about it, we couldn’t call it “Chuck” because “Chuck” was going to be the real duck. Chuck proper was going to made out of fancier materials, and dressed, and his beak was going to be stuffed the way the pattern called for (a step we forgot to do on the prototype). We named the model MiniChuck. And MiniChuck has been a boon companion lo these weeks while awaiting the arrival in the mail of the fancy wool felt we ordered online.
Yesterday, though, the pieces were all in place. The duck-making factory swung into action. And after hours of trimming and sewing and stuffing and fluffing, our masterpiece was complete.
Behold, Gentle Reader: MAXIMUM CHUCK!
None! None more Chuck!
Chuck likes to bask in the glory of our free giveaway Stanley Cup banners.
Chuck wears the very cutting edge of concussion-proof ping pong ball helmets.
Chuck is a brawny manly-man, whose chest measures a whopping entire inch across.
Because we’re very proud of cutting out such a small felt Devils logo, here’s another picture of it!
Chuck smokes only the finest hand-rolled construction-paper cigars.
A Canada goose can break a human’s shinbone with the force of its wings. For Chuck, that kind of damage is child’s play.
Chuck can fight with the best of them, but he’s also got soft hands. He’s everything a hockey fan could ask for.
This Chuck might not have the glamorous lifestyle of the real Chuck, with his speedboats and his exotic travels and his poutine, but he has one decided advantage over his namesake: no Stan.
Fischler-free since February 2010.
